After searching for the meaning of "uninvited guest" on Google, I found it quite fitting to describe the friend I want to talk about today.
Definitions from Oxford Languages
不速之客 /bùsùzhīkè/
不请自来的客人（速：邀请）。
- uninvited guest
- unexpected guest
Today, I want to talk about a friend who is very important to me, and his name is depression.
I believe everyone has heard of it, and everyone has a completely different definition of these three words.
When I didn't have depression, I also liked to joke about it, saying things like, "classic depression," "the little fairy is depressed again," and so on.
I didn't understand the weight of these three words. Indeed, some people use them to excuse their own mistakes, foolishness, or wrongdoing.
But after truly experiencing depression, I realized that joking aside,
If you are diagnosed with depression, I sincerely hope it is not true and wish you a speedy recovery.
I don't know if this is a popular science article about depression or just a record of my experience with it. What I can think of is that not all depression patients have the same feelings, but they are all in pain. All the descriptions of depression patients below only apply to me. As for whether they apply to other depression patients, I don't know and cannot verify; they are for reference only.
The Beginning of the Story#
The story began in July 2021.
The reason I remember it so clearly is that it is the timestamp from my camera; I can't recall clearly.
What I can remember is that I was working from home the whole time, doing operations for a listed company, with a monthly salary of 12K.
It seemed to be a level that many operations would be satisfied with, but at that time, I couldn't sleep all night.
I was crazily thinking about throwing everything away and going to a place where I didn't know anyone, and no one knew me.
I was thinking about Chengdu because I heard it was a livable city.
Later, I thought about why I wanted to go to Chengdu; actually, dying would be about the same, and it would save me the trouble of traveling.
I searched for ways to commit suicide quickly and peacefully, thought about who to entrust my cat to, thought about how to write a suicide note, wondered if the car owner would compensate my family if I got hit by a car, and how to deal with it if I didn't die, and that it seemed unethical to do so.
As these thoughts became stronger and more persistent, I eventually went to the hospital. At that time, I had no concept of depression; I only knew that if I didn't go to the hospital, this thought would eventually consume me, leading to death: suicide or disguised accident.
Seeking Help from the Hospital#
At that time, I just felt that my mind had some problems, so I went to a well-known psychological hospital in Shenzhen, Shenzhen Kangning Hospital.
I was living near the Wuhe subway station, at the junction of Longgang and Longhua, and I took a taxi directly to this hospital in Luohu.
At that time, I had almost only a few thousand yuan, and I borrowed money from Long Ge for the full extraction of my teeth during that period.
Why did I take a taxi? Because I thought, for someone who is about to die, what does money mean? Saving this little money wouldn't help me do anything.
I was registered for the anxiety disorder outpatient clinic, and there was a female doctor with the surname Xu.
After chatting, the doctor said that my situation was probably depression.
I said I felt pretty normal; everything was fine except that I didn't want to live, and I was a normal person.
She looked at me seriously and said: Actually, most depression patients are like this; they seem very normal.
At that time, the doctor recorded our conversation like this:
About the Examination Process#
The doctor did a bunch of tests for me, which can be divided into the following three categories:
Brain CT#
I remember I didn't have any headache symptoms; the doctor might have wanted to describe it simply.
Looking back, this examination was to confirm one issue: whether there were any substantial changes in your brain, that is, whether there were hardware problems. If there were hardware issues, it could also send wrong signals, leading to depressive emotions.
Hormone Level Check#
This mainly involved blood tests to check if there were any issues with the internal organs, possibly related to whether medication could be used.
Answering Questions#
I was taken to a place similar to a computer lab and had to answer questions using old equipment; there were quite a few questions.
One question left a deep impression on me: Do you sometimes feel inexplicable abdominal pain?
The answer was indeed yes.
But at that time, I didn't understand why this question was asked, and it did hit the mark, making me feel like it was similar to fortune-telling, where I hadn't told you anything, yet you knew.
About the Examination Results#
The CT and blood test results came out the next day, on July 20. I can't remember whether I slept well on the night of July 19; I think I did, as if I were a dying person who hadn't slept for ten days and finally arrived in a safe environment.
The cranial CT showed no issues with the brain, meaning the hardware was fine. As for the internal organs, apart from a bit of mild fatty liver, everything else was fine. The fatty liver was due to weight gain, which had already been detected six months prior during a lumbar disc herniation check.
Based on my years of experience in computer repair, if the hardware is fine, then the problem lies with the software, that is, the system.
The issue of a person's system being broken is medically referred to as depression.
I received the following prescription, which I am still taking.
One thing the doctor did that I found worth noting was that she not only verbally reminded me to gradually take the first medication but also wrote this tip down. It left a deep impression on me because, in my memory, this was the only care I received at that time, and it came from a stranger.
I never ask others to do things for me, but when someone is willing to spend time on me, I feel very touched.
About Medications and Their Effects#
Escitalopram Oxalate Tablets#
The first medication, Escitalopram Oxalate Tablets, has a more memorable name: Lexapro, which sounds nice.
Lexapro sounds like "everything is okay."
It is an SSRI antidepressant, with the English name Escitalopram. Its mechanism of action is to increase the level of the neurotransmitter serotonin in the synaptic cleft by preventing the reuptake of serotonin by presynaptic neurons. I don't understand it much; my personal understanding is that it dulls your brain.
The benefit is that it is indeed effective for depression; taking this medication reduces racing thoughts, and the brain won't overthink.
The downside is that it severely impairs my memory. I don't know if it's permanent brain damage or temporary. I am writing this article a few weeks after stopping this medication.
If there are friends who understand computer hardware, this analogy might be more fitting:
Taking this medication feels like activating only one core of a multi-core CPU; you can't think about multiple things simultaneously.
Even if you are only thinking about one thing, which means only one core is activated, this core will also throttle down, making it hard to think deeply.
So my creative desire has also decreased significantly; since 2021, I haven't produced any notable works.
Shugan Jieyu Capsules#
This medication is quite magical; its main ingredients are herbs, primarily St. John's Wort and Eleutherococcus.
As someone sensitive to ingredient lists, I don't trust most medications made from herbs, like many traditional Chinese medicines, unless they have undergone double-blind and placebo-controlled studies.
St. John's Wort, known in English as St John's wort, has been shown through Western scientific research to have effects compared to a placebo and is less harmful to the body, so I took it.
As for Eleutherococcus, known in English as Eleutherococcus, European studies suggest it has little effect. I tend to believe European studies, but since it has no side effects, it's hard to say whether this ingredient is useful.
Shugan Jieyu Capsules seem to have no side effects, but their antidepressant effect is indeed not as good as Lexapro.
If you are diagnosed with depression and want to feel better but are afraid that SSRI medications may harm your brain, just taking this might be an option.
Note: The above statement is just a non-binding suggestion and does not constitute medical advice; please consult your physician first.
Agomelatine Tablets#
A more memorable name is Valdoxan, with the English name Agomelatine. I provide the English name and the Wikipedia link because the English corpus is more reliable; the Chinese corpus has indeed been heavily polluted. Even when asking large models questions, the accuracy in English is much higher, so be cautious.
Of course, for all current AI models, Wikipedia holds a high weight, and the same goes for my article; I trust Wikipedia. As for Baidu Baike and Sogou Baike, forget it; they are not even in the same league, light-years apart.
This medication is taken once a day, before bed. My understanding is that it acts as a sleeping pill; if Lexapro prevents you from overthinking during the day, Agomelatine helps you sleep better at night. However, it is also an antidepressant, providing more than just improved sleep.
The only side effect I felt was that it seemed to cause liver damage; I once had very high ALT and AST levels in my blood tests, which are common adverse reactions according to Wikipedia, causing me to fail my employment physical examination. When I asked the doctor at Kangning, she suggested that I try reducing the dosage to half a tablet at a time.
Moreover, this medication seems to take effect quickly; there is a slight burning sensation, and you can clearly feel some changes in your body. You might fall asleep within ten minutes of taking it.
Feelings About Depression#
Hard to Prove and Disprove#
As mentioned earlier in the examination process, why do some people misuse depression to excuse themselves? Because it is indeed hard to prove.
Take me as an example; with no issues in brain hardware, hormones, or internal organs, the only proof of my depression lies in my communication records with the doctor and the answers to the questions.
However, if you know the judgment mechanism for depression, you can actively fabricate evidence.
So does a depression certificate issued by a hospital mean you are truly depressed? Not necessarily.
However, a depression certificate from a hospital at least proves that you have sought help from a hospital, regardless of the purpose.
But for someone truly depressed, how can they prove that they are really depressed?
So some depression patients may hysterically say, "Is it only when I die in front of you that you will believe me?"
Hearing such words is truly heartbreaking, yet helpless.
If there is anything that really requires me to prove this, my answer would be that I would take a knife and cut my wrist to show you.
Just be careful of people these days!
They don't care whether you have depression, just like they don't care how many bowls of noodles Liuzi has eaten.
Happy? Meaningful?#
A significant symptom of depression is persistent unhappiness or an inability to feel joy.
Let me give you an example: if someone invites you to a hot pot meal after working overtime (from hearing the news to anticipating the hot pot, going to the hot pot restaurant, eating the hot pot, and returning home),
If this event has a happiness index of 8 for a normal person, lasting for 2 hours, then the happiness index for a depression patient might only be 2, lasting only 5 minutes. The joy appears briefly and then disappears.
In this situation, a person's sense of meaninglessness will increase, feeling that nothing they do has meaning. Things they once loved no longer bring them joy, but things they once hated can cause them double the pain. I hate cockroaches; when I was depressed and not on medication, I could remember the appearance of a cockroach for two days after seeing one.
So will taking medication alleviate this? The answer is no; medication won't make you feel happier; it just prevents you from feeling pain. Your thoughts become dull; when you see a cockroach, you feel disgusted but can't remember its appearance or the feeling of disgust, and then you forget.
Obvious Self-Destructive Tendencies#
The topic of death can either be very heavy, such as when you have lost a loved one, or very light, like when joking about wanting to kill someone while drinking.
However, for most people, living is indeed very difficult, but death is not an option. People only die when it becomes unavoidable.
But for depression patients, death is an option. Death is right there, like an orange belonging to you on the table; if you don't eat it, it will rot. Do you want to eat it? It's an option that you can easily reach.
People also uncontrollably think negatively, including baseless suicidal thoughts, walking down the street thinking, "Why not let a car hit me?" or thinking, "Why not electrocute myself while turning on the fan?" or standing at a height thinking, "Why not jump down?" after all, life feels meaningless.
Other self-destructive tendencies may include alcoholism, staying up late, self-harm, and making oneself look haggard and aggressive. But I don't have these tendencies, mainly thanks to medication, and secondly due to personal preference; I hate alcohol, staying up late is controlled by medication, and self-harm feels meaningless, and I have little aggression.
What Happens If You Don't Take Medication#
Due to the brain feeling like it is covered with a layer of cloth, sometimes I want to retrieve information that I consider very important but can't seem to find it no matter how hard I try. I know that aging can lead to this condition, but don't forget that depression patients are also aging and are simultaneously affected by depression and medication.
I used to take pride in my memory during middle and high school. Since I read a lot as a child, I specifically sought out long and difficult poems to memorize in middle school. I remember the longest poem I memorized in middle school was "The Song of Everlasting Regret," and I spent a lot of effort reciting it while looking at the basketball hoop on the second floor after school.
In high school, the longest book I read was "The Art of War." At that time, I heard that generals like MacArthur regarded it as a treasure, which made me respect this book. Of course, now when MacArthur is mentioned, he is a famous commentator. So I memorized it.
Until college, I could still recite this poem and a chapter from this book without much difficulty. But now, I can hardly remember any of it. I try to recall, but I can only remember fragments like "The Han Emperor cherished beauty and longed for the nation" and "In warfare, deception is the way," and then nothing more.
When you have once achieved a certain brilliance but it has completely vanished, it is very painful. It's like "The Old Man and the Sea," where you fish in the sea and catch a huge fish, but in the end, the fish escapes, and there are no witnesses or evidence to prove that it ever happened.
So based on the desire to escape this pain, I attempted to stop taking medication, trying to regain my dwindling memory, but stopping the medication made me feel terrible.
First, there was a sense of disorientation, as if I were in another world; every time I stood up, I felt like I was going to faint. Every time I went to the bathroom, the light felt too bright, whether it was artificial light or sunlight, and it was hard to concentrate. At that time, I truly understood the meaning of disorientation.
Secondly, there was numbness; there was a sense of physical numbness, but my movements were stiff, which was not too important and could be overcome. However, the mental numbness was very uncomfortable. Originally, I stopped taking medication to regain my memory, but I found that my brain had directly crashed.
When on medication, if you ask me to recite "The Song of Everlasting Regret," I would still think about the information related to this keyword, and you would get results like: "I once memorized it," "It's a pretty long poem," "What is the first line again?" and so on, possibly yielding dozens of results.
When not on medication, if you ask me to recite "The Song of Everlasting Regret," my brain won't respond with the results related to this keyword or will return very few results, followed by a terminal command.
So when not on medication, I can basically only do repetitive work. Once it involves mental labor, it becomes very difficult, and I can't do it well.
Then the symptoms of depression itself will strike, such as feelings of meaninglessness, self-destructive tendencies, and so on, so I resumed taking medication.
As for memory, let's pretend it never happened; let's assume I never memorized it; let's assume I'm a waste.
Another issue is irritable bowel syndrome, abbreviated as IBS. This symptom can also occur in normal people, and when normal people are prescribed medication, they may also be given antidepressants. Remember I mentioned earlier that during the examination, I was asked if I had abdominal pain? This is what caused it.
When I stopped taking medication, I often had diarrhea. I confirmed it wasn't caused by food; I only ate clean fiber and vegetables, which theoretically should help, but in reality, I had to go to the bathroom four or five times in the morning. I also tried taking probiotics from big brands, but they had little effect. However, once I resumed taking medication, it got better.
Making Friends with Depression#
Why Did It Choose Me?#
Depression has brought me a lot of trouble, and I have thought about one thing: why would a perfectly fine person develop depression? This question doesn't necessarily have a standard answer, but a satisfying answer for me is that the arrival of depression indicates that there are some issues with your lifestyle that need to change.
As shown in the image below, the source of this image is a post on the English forum Reddit, translated from one of the answers to What is a profound statement your therapist has told you?
However, Reddit cannot be viewed without logging in (the annoying English platform is also closed off), but you can check out some selected answers on Buzzfeed People Who Have Been To Therapy Are Sharing The Most Profound Things They Learned, And I'm Writing These Down
Anxiety is like this, and so is depression; anxiety patients usually have varying degrees of depression, and depression patients may also experience varying degrees of anxiety.
Depression doesn't mean you did something wrong; on the contrary, you just don't fit into this environment. Is it possible that you didn't do anything wrong, but the environment did? This is a bold hypothesis, but it is indeed an interesting perspective.
I should write another article for depression patients, linking it to this one, where I want to tell myself and them one thing: depression is not scary, nor is it here to harm you; it is a friend who understands you better than you do. You haven't done anything wrong; you are doing well.
Changes After Depression#
About Dealing with Situations#
Many times, your communication with the outside world is a collision; sometimes you are clearly right, but during the collision, you get shattered.
What I have learned is: Being correct does not mean being strong; being sincere does not mean you won't lose.
Treating wolves with the sincerity of a child, or even facing the wolf's heart with a dog's lung, will also lead to shattering, and it will be a complete disaster.
Some people become depressed due to heartbreak, so they may have a deeper understanding of this than I do, like Fat Cat, who has proven this with his life. For me, I didn't become depressed because of heartbreak; I became depressed due to fighting against other things.
For example, fighting against Alibaba International Station, fighting against workplace exploitation, fighting against an unreasonable social environment. In 2021, I fought against many things, but undoubtedly, I ended up losing miserably, and no one even cared about me. Writing this makes me want to cry, but that's the truth.
So before my depression, I was an advocate of social Darwinism: if you fall behind, you will be beaten. If you can't make money, it's because you don't work hard; being poor is the original sin. But now, I would say, fuck you.
The moral education I received does not allow me to kick someone when they are down; otherwise, if you put forward this viewpoint, I would tell you at your most vulnerable moment, "You're just too weak; otherwise, you wouldn't end up like this."
No one is always strong; no one is always riding high. You will always have moments of weakness and need care. That is not a reason to eliminate you. As a higher social being, if there is not enough care and love for the weak, then humanity does not deserve to be human.
In terms of dealing with situations, I used to be overly sensitive and empathetic to others' feelings, liking to act heroically and stand up for others, but in the end, I was the one who got hurt.
It's like helping an old lady who was hit by a car; is it your fault? No. Did you do the right thing? Yes, you were helping the weak. Why did you end up getting hurt? I don't know, so that's the problem.
So whether to help or not, I would now choose indifference. It doesn't mean my childlike heart has died; rather, I can only say: in China, it is like this. Even if you do a good deed, you must first think about protecting yourself; otherwise, you will suffer greatly.
If it were in the United States, Canada, or Nordic countries, I could boldly help without first thinking about protecting myself.
Before 2022, many of my decisions were like whether to help or not; I chose to help, and thus faced difficulties.
For example, I clearly spoke out for the victims of Zhang Zebin, trying to save more people from being deceived, but in the end, I bore the pressure and faced a lawsuit.
I guess depression is reminding me that I shouldn't be like this in such a social environment.
So after depression, I became indifferent, spoke less, cared little for others, focused on myself, and concentrated on my goals. I became more selfish. As for whether Alibaba is doing evil or who is doing evil in the market, I don't care. This makes me feel better.
So the saying that "depression is a sexually transmitted disease left after being raped by society" resonates deeply with me.
About Interpersonal Relationships#
In fact, this point has basically not changed; my way of treating others still follows the education I received, which is to be sincere.
My friends of ten years have basically given me some help during my depression, both financially and emotionally. I still treat others sincerely, just no longer trying to meet everyone's needs. As for the voices questioning me online, I just curse them as idiots and then don't bother to prove or refute.
I have cut off most energy-draining social interactions, such as meetups and gatherings with fans. I mainly communicate with Long Ge, whose way of dealing with situations has taught me a lot. He believes that depression is merely caused by lack of money, and I do agree with some of that. If I had enough money, many things could be easily resolved.
For example, whether to help or not, I could boldly help, and if I were wrong, I could pay for it or spend money to expose it through the media. In fact, it could all be resolved since I would have enough money. I wouldn't need to work; I could spend time and money proving the justice in my heart, but I don't have enough money.
About Love#
This actually falls under interpersonal relationships, but I pulled it out separately because I think it is very important. Men have an unending desire for care, tenderness, and physical intimacy, but during my depression, I indeed did not date.
I did go out to dinner with girls, which is usually the first step in most relationships, but deep down, I always believed that someone who cannot take care of themselves cannot take care of another person.
What I need now is someone who can take care of me, but my sense of justice tells me that if I date a girl, I need to take care of her. Based on this, most of the romantic sparks in my mind have been extinguished.
In a relationship, there is a significant gap between what I can do, what I want to do, and what I currently need, so I passively remain single, believing my decision is correct.
The girl I had dinner with was quite surprised when she later learned that I had depression. At that moment, I felt that my judgment was right. Of course, I didn't intentionally hide my condition; just stating that I have depression right from the start would only make things more awkward.
If I can't take care of myself, I should first find a way to take care of myself.
This includes my thoughts of living in another country; at this stage, finding a like-minded girl is still too difficult. If I think about escaping this environment while the other person wants to settle down here, that relationship can only serve to alleviate loneliness.
That said, how many boyfriends and girlfriends are merely temporary solutions to loneliness rather than mutual appreciation?
Personification of Depression#
Many artists have created works about depression. Besides my written creations, there are also visual art and illustrations. Google "Depression monster" or "Depression Creative," and you will find many. One that left a deep impression on me is by the artist Sillvi-illustrations:
He has also created illustrations related to anxiety, PTSD, and others, which are equally shocking and fitting. I won't post them here; if you're interested, you can check them out. There is a link, but it's not from the original author; it's a repost.
Yes, depression is just despair, unreasonable despair, endless despair, and an empty heart.
What Can You Do as a Friend?#
When you read this article, I assume you might be a friend of someone with depression who needs to understand it, or you are preparing for the worst, or you just want to understand me. So raising questions and describing problems is just the first step. How to deal with and solve the problem? Perhaps the articles below can help you or your friend in some way.
WHO's Recommendations#
First, you can refer to the Depression Group Interpersonal Therapy Manual (Chinese Version) published by the World Health Organization (WHO) in October 2016.
If you can't open it, it might be because you haven't set up a VPN, but I also prepared a domestic mirror for download and reading.
Recommendations from Tongji University East Hospital#
Secondly, you can refer to the Ten Principles for Communicating with Depression Patients published by Tongji University East Hospital in January 2023.
Recommendations from Zhihu User Mu Ziying#
Zhihu user Mu Ziying's answer with 16,000 upvotes, What is a true depression patient like?
Recommendations from Simple Psychology#
A series of articles about depression published by Simple Psychology, including:
Please Don't Say These Things to Depressed People...
Some Video Science Popularization and Suggestions#
Yes, even successful and wealthy people like Zhang Chaoyang can experience depression, but his treatment methods are not universally applicable. I once heard his advice to avoid SSRIs, but I found it very painful.
He was able to recover by flying globally, continuously communicating with different environments and people. Do you have this ability? Do your finances and time allow for it? If not, I suggest you don't follow his example.
Guokr's Recommendations#
An article published by Guokr titled Depression: Who Stole Our Happiness? Can We Get It Back?
About Genetic Testing#
Guokr's article mentions something very important: depression is also related to genetics.
This has been scientifically proven. Coincidentally, I had genetic testing done; note that I did this in 2019, and the report showed this, so it's not a case of shooting an arrow and then drawing a target.
Of course, my mother had a history of schizophrenia, so this also serves as cross-validation of this conclusion. Sometimes horror movies say that if a grandmother is crazy, the whole family might be crazy; this is indeed possible.
I believe understanding oneself is a serious and worthwhile topic, which is why I undergo various tests.
I don't want to live a life where I go through the motions, neither understanding myself nor being critical of others. Living a life that isn't what I want, but rather following the templates of relatives and friends—getting married when others do, having children when others do, and passing on unfulfilled wishes to my children.
Even if I have some bad genes that are hereditary, I can face them bravely, rather than being completely unaware of who I am. Of course, this is just a probability; I personally believe that environmental influences are greater than genetic influences.
PS: If you are also interested in genetic testing, you can purchase it through WeGene using this link. I will receive a commission, but the premise is that you can trust a domestic company with your genetic data. If it's 2024 me, I might not be very comfortable with it, but I was when I bought it in 2019.
There is also 23andMe, a North American company, but I recall they had some scandals, so judge for yourself. When children from poor families get married, they check credit reports for large loans, while rich families are already checking if their genes are suitable for pairing; perhaps this is the difference.
My Suggestions#
I put this section last because my suggestions are the least important. Depression is a disease, so the main advice you should listen to comes from qualified or professional individuals. My suggestions may not be universally applicable.
Although I have learned a lot about depression, from texts to videos, from experts to those who have experienced it, I still cannot be sure that what I say is correct. This is depression.
I believe there are a few core points:
First, do not mock or belittle; of course, if it's your friend, I believe you wouldn't do that.
Second, accept the fact that you can't do much; it mainly relies on the individual to save themselves and find a way out.
Third, before understanding the causes of the illness, do not self-righteously comfort them, such as asking, "How could you want to commit suicide? What about your family? Think about your family."
Unbeknownst to you, many adolescents are depressed primarily because of their parents. To put it bluntly, many children shouldn't be in mental hospitals; it should be their parents.
You ask them to think about their family, and those who initially didn't want to jump might directly jump after hearing that.
What you can do is treat them as normal people, encourage them to share their feelings, avoid empathy, and don't overreact. Not empathizing means not letting the depressive emotions infect you because when we share, we also consider whether it will affect your good mood. Just eat normally, ask about their recent situation, and that's it.
Even if you do nothing, companionship is also a form of strength, as shown in the image below.
Of course, for most boys, when they feel like dying, they won't share it with others. As this YouTube video says, Who Do You Call When You're Feeling Down? The Answers from Boys Are Surprisingly Consistent. If you can't open YouTube, just search for this title on domestic video platforms.
According to WHO data, in reality, more women are affected by depression than men. As for how sisters communicate with friends with depression, I have no experience and am not sure.
Final Thoughts#
Have I come out of depression?
Regarding this topic, I believe I have, because I can finally describe what happened to me during this period of depression. However, my body does not agree; as I write this article, I am off medication, but my irritable bowel syndrome has not improved, which means I am still experiencing diarrhea.
So on May 12, 2024, which is a Sunday, I still need to go to Kangning Hospital to get some medication and continue taking it. As for whether I can still write such a coherent article after taking it, I am not sure.
But from a mental state perspective, I feel much better. I can accept that depression is something that will always accompany me because it is like a friend. When I do something that it thinks is wrong, it will correct me.
It's like alternating governance between two parties; it is always better than a one-party dictatorship. People are like this; in my mind, there are two decision-makers: one is a decision-maker named depression who understands me better than I do, and the other is my self-awareness.
I have seen some posts saying that depression patients come out after a few years and become psychologically stronger, even invincible. I think that although I haven't reached invincibility yet, I have at least grown a lot.
In the face of rumors, slander, and online violence, I believe I should be able to handle it. Of course, the best situation is that there are no such circumstances, but in this environment, who can say for sure?
Some Updates#
Updated on May 14, 2024
The reason is that I feel I can stop taking medication, but irritable bowel syndrome has been bothering me, so I consulted a doctor and explained the situation. The doctor said there are three conditions for wanting to stop medication:
- You can't stop directly; you need to gradually reduce the dosage until you stop.
- Ensure that you don't encounter difficult or unhappy events in the short term.
- It's best to stop medication in the summer; I was advised to stop between June and August.
After taking the medication, my irritable bowel syndrome improved a lot. Next, I will follow the doctor's advice to gradually reduce the dosage.
Thank you for reading, and thank you to everyone who has helped me.